Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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