Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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