1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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