his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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