if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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