plz talk dirty to me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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