yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
