I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
