Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
