Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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