he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
