this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize