Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
