In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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