Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
