Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
