It's like God shit irony all over that family
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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