I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Rumble strips road head = magical
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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