I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
