Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
