He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
