it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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