Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We are two peas in an std pod
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
