Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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