i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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