strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
