Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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