adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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