I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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