Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize