No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
