oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
