I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
