Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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