I wish my penis had an off switch
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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