I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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