For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
