How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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