big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
