4 words: hood of his car
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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