There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
