ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
