I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
