there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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