help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
