one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
