also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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