he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
