marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize