i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
