Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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