why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you had me at cake vodka
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize