garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
wakey wakey hands off snakey
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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