I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
