And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
