What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
