Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
