all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Randomize
