he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
