***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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