I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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