I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
