your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
